(Barely) Working Title: How to retire in your twenties

The Hawkes bay region is a brilliant place if you're looking to induce a migraine, as we endeavored to prove with the plan for the following day. We took some time to do some writing, then rewarded ourselves by paying visits to the local cheese and chocolate factories, and topped it all off with a couple of wine tastings. Sweet dreams!

Our first visit of the day was to Hohepa Cheesery (totally a word) to get some Danbo cheese. It's a creamy, edam-esque cheese in it's traditional form but we stayed true to ourselves and bought a version with chilli in it. We then headed to the Silky Oak chocolate factory and inexplicably couldn't find any chocolate for sale whatsoever. We did manage to find the cafe so stopped to refuel- Jane went for a pumpkin muffin which she loved. I opted for a chicken, brie and cranberry croissant because I am some kind of cretin. Kiwi café food is like French food if all the chefs were pissed. After lunch, we found some actual chocolate tucked away around the side of the factory!

Lewis George

81 chapters

16 Apr 2020

Bridget Jones' Diary - Cheese, Chocolate, Wine

May 06, 2019

|

Napier

The Hawkes bay region is a brilliant place if you're looking to induce a migraine, as we endeavored to prove with the plan for the following day. We took some time to do some writing, then rewarded ourselves by paying visits to the local cheese and chocolate factories, and topped it all off with a couple of wine tastings. Sweet dreams!

Our first visit of the day was to Hohepa Cheesery (totally a word) to get some Danbo cheese. It's a creamy, edam-esque cheese in it's traditional form but we stayed true to ourselves and bought a version with chilli in it. We then headed to the Silky Oak chocolate factory and inexplicably couldn't find any chocolate for sale whatsoever. We did manage to find the cafe so stopped to refuel- Jane went for a pumpkin muffin which she loved. I opted for a chicken, brie and cranberry croissant because I am some kind of cretin. Kiwi café food is like French food if all the chefs were pissed. After lunch, we found some actual chocolate tucked away around the side of the factory!

We chose a handful each then rushed off to the nearest winery to do some tastings.

New Zealanders like their beauty sleep and the whole place seems to be in bed by 5pm. As a result, your standard wine tasting runs from 10am until 4pm. Naturally, we weren't keen to taste wine at breakfast time so we left our two visits until the very end. We went to Moana Valley wines first. The winery is probably the most hipster of the lot and everything is 100% eco-friendly, non-allergenic and vegan. The master wine maker is strictly against traditional methods and wouldn't even guarantee that they would produce the same wine twice, as "the grapes decide". In true East-London style, we enjoyed a very carefully measured selection, drinking from some 100ml conical flasks.

Our second tasting was at The Mission where we took pleasure in the polar-opposite experience of free-poured swigs from seven different bouquets. The Mission has famously hosted a summer gig for the past twenty years, pulling big names such as Simply Red, Julio (and Enrique) Iglesias, Lionel Ritchie, Rod Stewart and of course, Engelbert Humperdinck, which is literally a big name. We emerged from the experience with a 2017 Moana Valley Chardonnay (it's good here, honest!), a plastic bottle of "summer gig leftover Merlot" and two (free) embossed glasses from The Mission. Deep down we know that we're not classy enough for wine tastings, but at least now we can drink our plastic-bottle wine from glasses rather than mugs. What a day!



1.

The first trip: Miranda to Thames

2.

Land of the Long, White Cloud

3.

Backyard Exploring

4.

Hit the Road, Jack

5.

Under the Weather

6.

The Road of Death?

7.

An Eel called "Eel"

8.

Descent into the Black Abyss...

9.

Everybody's Going Surfing...

10.

Living in a van: is this the real life?

11.

Out with the Old and in with the New (Plymouth)

12.

Walk this Way

13.

The Great Taranaki

14.

The "Forgotten" Highway

15.

Chronicle + Art = Article

16.

Derby Day

17.

Mission Accomplished: Come on you Nix!

18.

The post-Phoenix hangover

19.

The Tongariro Alpine Crossing

20.

Whanganui 2 - This Time it’s Personal

21.

Tui-many puns and Hastings

22.

The Giant Among Us & Bell Rock

23.

Acoustics, Art & A Bloody Cold Sea

24.

Napier Calling

25.

Bridget Jones' Diary - Cheese, Chocolate, Wine

26.

Land and Sea

27.

Mahia-hee, Mahia-hu...

28.

The Gisborne Identity

29.

East Cape Escape

30.

The Long and Winding Road

31.

More or Less Pork.

32.

The Land of the Rising Sun

33.

Hikurangi: Reaching New Heights

34.

Stingray, Stingray!

35.

Bay of Plenty (of Surprises)

36.

Future Reflections

37.

Birthday Part 1 - Going Off Pissed

38.

Birthday Part 2 - Going En Piste

39.

Mid-Winter Christmas

40.

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again)

41.

Job Hunting: I Need a Dollar, Dollar

42.

Busy Earnin'

43.

Hoppy Daze

44.

Making a House a Home

45.

What to expect when you’re expecting

46.

Bright Lights, Big City

47.

Feeling Each and Every Mile

48.

What to export when you're exporting

49.

Waipapa Marae: An Unexpected Welcome

50.

Tane of the Sky Father

51.

The Boy Most Likely To

52.

Go Rooster!

53.

Friday 13th

54.

Mild Orange, Heavy Chest

55.

Champions of the World

56.

Wild, Wild West (Auckland)

57.

Team Zlatan Heineken

58.

Great Expectations

59.

Un petit rendezvous

60.

Duck Island (sans canards)

61.

It’s Coming Home?

62.

Culture, init?

63.

Sue’s Turtle Garden

64.

New Caledonia - It’s a Rollercoaster (metaphorically)

65.

It’s gone abroad...

66.

Future Me Hates Me

67.

“You can’t beat Wellington on a sunny day”

68.

Te Papa Tongarewa: New Zealand’s Treasure Chest

69.

Island in the Sun

70.

Wine on Waiheke

71.

I'm Dreaming of a Really Sunny and Warm as Hell Christmas

72.

A Visitor!

73.

New Year, New Zealand

74.

Worm-tomo

75.

A Vicious Cycle

76.

Tongario 2.0: This time it's actually visible

77.

Wow Nature, you furry

78.

Whakarewarewa: Living Māori Vilage

79.

Ain't No Mountain...

80.

Hot Rodders & Hotter Weather

81.

North Shore, Not Sure

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