(Barely) Working Title: How to retire in your twenties

As Lewis has been updating you all on how many fun adventures we’ve being having (LOTS!), I thought I’d add in a slice of reality and let you in on what it’s actually like to live in a van.

Needs are reduced back to basics: Where will I pee? Sleep? Wash? (Most of all wash...). A sponge bath becomes commonplace and, surprisingly, the van remains positively fragrant despite the reduced

Lewis George

81 chapters

16 Apr 2020

Living in a van: is this the real life?

April 13, 2019

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Awakino, West Coast (North Island)

As Lewis has been updating you all on how many fun adventures we’ve being having (LOTS!), I thought I’d add in a slice of reality and let you in on what it’s actually like to live in a van.

Needs are reduced back to basics: Where will I pee? Sleep? Wash? (Most of all wash...). A sponge bath becomes commonplace and, surprisingly, the van remains positively fragrant despite the reduced

amount of full body scrubs. Though there can be an occasional pong from an overused flannel that indicates it’s been a little too long between showers... Washing your hair becomes a thing of luxury, but it’s amazing what a pair of sunglasses placed over your mop can do. Having short hair helps immensely!

Eating your cereal in pyjamas on a park bench is totally normal. People will stare at you in mild curiosity/disgust. You get used to it.

Cooking on the road can be difficult, and it’s a big responsibility keeping on top of when the ice packs will thaw out. Being an experienced cook has its advantages in that you can adapt to minimal appliances/utensils/storage space, but you do wonder which feasts could be prepared if you had access to a fridge and a consistent gas ring. Though your kitchen maybe small, its also portable and often the stunning views make up for the lack of space. Luckily I’ve had the (mis)fortune to have only had small rooms to cook in for the majority of my life and am well practiced in the art of kitchen Tetris. In kitchen Tetris you complete a row of washing up and nothing disappears!

Another challenge is getting things dry. Anywhere in the van can be a drying rack. I find that the dashboard is especially good for underwear, though if you’re driving on a windy road, don’t leave the window open or you may lose a pair...

Everything in your van will end up on the floor when you’re driving, even if (you think) it’s tied down.

The van community is surprisingly introverted and you will have to make an effort to talk to other travellers for the most part. We believe this is largely due to free campers not wanting to draw unnecessary attention as locals living in nice areas tend to resent you parking on their well-kept streets and dishevelling the quaint town. Certainly we’ve encountered disgruntled, as Lewis called them, “curtain twitchers” who will claim that you bought your self-contained sticker off the internet and will try to move you on.

You have to clean your house everyday, usually twice per day. Sand and mud get everywhere and it’s just not practical to ban shoes in the van, though I have considered it...

We’ve been on the road for a couple of weeks now and, despite the challenges, I can say that I’m thoroughly enjoying van life. I’ve also learnt the following-

Things I miss:
A kettle- making tea in the morning takes far too long boiling water on the gas burner. Luckily I have been able to assign this job to Lewis as his tea addiction is greater than mine so he enjoys the daily frustration of watching the pot boil.

Clean towels- It’s just not possible to keep your (one) bath towel fresh when your beach towel is still wet and sandy and you’re washing in public bathrooms. I’m a fresh towel person.

Things I no longer need:
Shoes- for the most part. It’s flip flops (or as the Kiwi’s call them “jandals”) all the way.

Hot water- for washing up and washing yourself. It’s amazing how “clean” you can get things in icy cold water.



1.

The first trip: Miranda to Thames

2.

Land of the Long, White Cloud

3.

Backyard Exploring

4.

Hit the Road, Jack

5.

Under the Weather

6.

The Road of Death?

7.

An Eel called "Eel"

8.

Descent into the Black Abyss...

9.

Everybody's Going Surfing...

10.

Living in a van: is this the real life?

11.

Out with the Old and in with the New (Plymouth)

12.

Walk this Way

13.

The Great Taranaki

14.

The "Forgotten" Highway

15.

Chronicle + Art = Article

16.

Derby Day

17.

Mission Accomplished: Come on you Nix!

18.

The post-Phoenix hangover

19.

The Tongariro Alpine Crossing

20.

Whanganui 2 - This Time it’s Personal

21.

Tui-many puns and Hastings

22.

The Giant Among Us & Bell Rock

23.

Acoustics, Art & A Bloody Cold Sea

24.

Napier Calling

25.

Bridget Jones' Diary - Cheese, Chocolate, Wine

26.

Land and Sea

27.

Mahia-hee, Mahia-hu...

28.

The Gisborne Identity

29.

East Cape Escape

30.

The Long and Winding Road

31.

More or Less Pork.

32.

The Land of the Rising Sun

33.

Hikurangi: Reaching New Heights

34.

Stingray, Stingray!

35.

Bay of Plenty (of Surprises)

36.

Future Reflections

37.

Birthday Part 1 - Going Off Pissed

38.

Birthday Part 2 - Going En Piste

39.

Mid-Winter Christmas

40.

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again)

41.

Job Hunting: I Need a Dollar, Dollar

42.

Busy Earnin'

43.

Hoppy Daze

44.

Making a House a Home

45.

What to expect when you’re expecting

46.

Bright Lights, Big City

47.

Feeling Each and Every Mile

48.

What to export when you're exporting

49.

Waipapa Marae: An Unexpected Welcome

50.

Tane of the Sky Father

51.

The Boy Most Likely To

52.

Go Rooster!

53.

Friday 13th

54.

Mild Orange, Heavy Chest

55.

Champions of the World

56.

Wild, Wild West (Auckland)

57.

Team Zlatan Heineken

58.

Great Expectations

59.

Un petit rendezvous

60.

Duck Island (sans canards)

61.

It’s Coming Home?

62.

Culture, init?

63.

Sue’s Turtle Garden

64.

New Caledonia - It’s a Rollercoaster (metaphorically)

65.

It’s gone abroad...

66.

Future Me Hates Me

67.

“You can’t beat Wellington on a sunny day”

68.

Te Papa Tongarewa: New Zealand’s Treasure Chest

69.

Island in the Sun

70.

Wine on Waiheke

71.

I'm Dreaming of a Really Sunny and Warm as Hell Christmas

72.

A Visitor!

73.

New Year, New Zealand

74.

Worm-tomo

75.

A Vicious Cycle

76.

Tongario 2.0: This time it's actually visible

77.

Wow Nature, you furry

78.

Whakarewarewa: Living Māori Vilage

79.

Ain't No Mountain...

80.

Hot Rodders & Hotter Weather

81.

North Shore, Not Sure

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