(Barely) Working Title: How to retire in your twenties

We left Tatapouri (land of stingrays) and traveled the highway towards Whakatāne. This is yet another town with a name that is often mispronounced. The "wh" syllable is often incorrectly pronounced as it's written. In Te Reo Māori this represents a hard "ph" sound. This journey meant that we were finally on our route back to Waiuku, where it all began back in March.

Whakatāne is a fairly large coastal town, with an urban population of around 20,000. It sits within the Bay of Plenty (the remedy to Captain Cook's proclaimed "Poverty Bay" in Gisborne) and is named after an

Lewis George

81 chapters

16 Apr 2020

Bay of Plenty (of Surprises)

May 27, 2019

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Tauranga, Whakatane

We left Tatapouri (land of stingrays) and traveled the highway towards Whakatāne. This is yet another town with a name that is often mispronounced. The "wh" syllable is often incorrectly pronounced as it's written. In Te Reo Māori this represents a hard "ph" sound. This journey meant that we were finally on our route back to Waiuku, where it all began back in March.

Whakatāne is a fairly large coastal town, with an urban population of around 20,000. It sits within the Bay of Plenty (the remedy to Captain Cook's proclaimed "Poverty Bay" in Gisborne) and is named after an

incident during the first Māori settlement here. It is said that after the men went ashore, the great waka (canoe) Mātaatua began to drift in a heavy tide. Wairaka, a chieftainess, shouted "Kia Whakatāne au i ahau", which roughly translates to "allow me to act as a man". She then paddled the canoe, as women were not otherwise allowed to. With the assistance of other women on the boat, the waka was saved. A statute of Wairaka commemorating the heroic deed was erected upon Turuturu rock, where she now guards the river mouth.

We had a good feeling about Whakatāne from the moment we arrived. Approaching from the south, we had (slowly) battled steep inclines in the Vanette to suddenly drop down into the bay - it was quite a sight! The town is clustered along the Whakatāne estuary, with coastal conservation areas protecting the town, where the eponymous river meets the sea. The effect creates a natural harbor right through the centre of town, which can be seen best from the look out point at the top of the old pa (fortified village). Just off the coast is Moutohorā (Whale) Island, which we presume is so named as it is known to have a whalelike shape and stature. I don't see it personally, but it's immensely scenic nonetheless. We knew that rain was due so settled in for a coffee at the local café and heard a rather gruesome story about ah motorcycle accident from a man with a number of steel rods through his arm.

We went for a pleasant stroll around town before heading into a music shop for a chat. The shopkeeper told us that the music scene in Whakatāne is very much in its infancy but in doing so, he suggested that there might be a music scene of some kind! We then soaked up the beautiful views (and a little light rain) from the aforementioned pa, whilst drinking some tea.

That night we stayed at the Awakeri Hot Springs campsite, with the rationale that if it's going to rain, we might as well be in a warm pool. It's the same price as a normal site but with free access to the springs and an attitude of "we don't care when you check out" - perfect! There had been an end-of-harvest party for the kiwifruit pickers that day and a kind local gave us our fill of the leftovers (including some delicious home-baked muffins). Everything was going swimmingly indeed!

The next "town" over is Tauranga. Our route took us there the following day. Now, I'll hold my hands up here and say that I got this one a bit wrong... There have been several moments on this trip where I've suggested we may be going to an actual town, only for us to turn up and see an empty husk of a village, or a small hamlet with a couple of houses and no amenities. This time, I'd learnt my lesson and decided to make no effort to estimate the stature of the settlement.

BIG MISTAKE. BIG CITY. COMPLETELY UNPREPARED.

Tauranga is the fifth largest settlement in New Zealand, and is relatively unknown globally still because this population increase has been rapid and recent. The adjoining town, Mount Maunganui, has been engulfed by the sprawl but manages to maintain an air of cosmopolitan Europe, with an abundance of cafés, restaurants, bars and boutiques. The overwhelming natural feature here is the mount itself,

which is an expansive rhyolite lava-dome formed 2-3 million years ago. Having had plenty of time to cool down, it's mostly used by runners and tourists aiming to gain a panoramic view of the city and seas beyond.

Given our lack of preparation (my bad), we headed to Mount Backpackers and booked a couple of beds for the night. Cities don't make it easy for people like us to stay in vans like ours so we cut our losses. Following a short hike up the mount to enjoy the panoramic views, we spent the evening as Europeans do, sampling said bars and restaurants, and enjoying the buzz of city-life. The evening culminated in an accidental sojourn to Rio De Janeiro via an impressively attended Latin night at the Astrolabe Brewbar - and all on a Tuesday night!

Back at our backpackers accommodation, we found it to be largely populated by those working or looking for seasonal work. It's also almost exclusively populated by those with cheesy feet. We resolved to stay in the van the following evening.



1.

The first trip: Miranda to Thames

2.

Land of the Long, White Cloud

3.

Backyard Exploring

4.

Hit the Road, Jack

5.

Under the Weather

6.

The Road of Death?

7.

An Eel called "Eel"

8.

Descent into the Black Abyss...

9.

Everybody's Going Surfing...

10.

Living in a van: is this the real life?

11.

Out with the Old and in with the New (Plymouth)

12.

Walk this Way

13.

The Great Taranaki

14.

The "Forgotten" Highway

15.

Chronicle + Art = Article

16.

Derby Day

17.

Mission Accomplished: Come on you Nix!

18.

The post-Phoenix hangover

19.

The Tongariro Alpine Crossing

20.

Whanganui 2 - This Time it’s Personal

21.

Tui-many puns and Hastings

22.

The Giant Among Us & Bell Rock

23.

Acoustics, Art & A Bloody Cold Sea

24.

Napier Calling

25.

Bridget Jones' Diary - Cheese, Chocolate, Wine

26.

Land and Sea

27.

Mahia-hee, Mahia-hu...

28.

The Gisborne Identity

29.

East Cape Escape

30.

The Long and Winding Road

31.

More or Less Pork.

32.

The Land of the Rising Sun

33.

Hikurangi: Reaching New Heights

34.

Stingray, Stingray!

35.

Bay of Plenty (of Surprises)

36.

Future Reflections

37.

Birthday Part 1 - Going Off Pissed

38.

Birthday Part 2 - Going En Piste

39.

Mid-Winter Christmas

40.

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again)

41.

Job Hunting: I Need a Dollar, Dollar

42.

Busy Earnin'

43.

Hoppy Daze

44.

Making a House a Home

45.

What to expect when you’re expecting

46.

Bright Lights, Big City

47.

Feeling Each and Every Mile

48.

What to export when you're exporting

49.

Waipapa Marae: An Unexpected Welcome

50.

Tane of the Sky Father

51.

The Boy Most Likely To

52.

Go Rooster!

53.

Friday 13th

54.

Mild Orange, Heavy Chest

55.

Champions of the World

56.

Wild, Wild West (Auckland)

57.

Team Zlatan Heineken

58.

Great Expectations

59.

Un petit rendezvous

60.

Duck Island (sans canards)

61.

It’s Coming Home?

62.

Culture, init?

63.

Sue’s Turtle Garden

64.

New Caledonia - It’s a Rollercoaster (metaphorically)

65.

It’s gone abroad...

66.

Future Me Hates Me

67.

“You can’t beat Wellington on a sunny day”

68.

Te Papa Tongarewa: New Zealand’s Treasure Chest

69.

Island in the Sun

70.

Wine on Waiheke

71.

I'm Dreaming of a Really Sunny and Warm as Hell Christmas

72.

A Visitor!

73.

New Year, New Zealand

74.

Worm-tomo

75.

A Vicious Cycle

76.

Tongario 2.0: This time it's actually visible

77.

Wow Nature, you furry

78.

Whakarewarewa: Living Māori Vilage

79.

Ain't No Mountain...

80.

Hot Rodders & Hotter Weather

81.

North Shore, Not Sure

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