France/Spain 2022 (Week Five)

Lying lazily in the sun on Thursday afternoon I find myself grinning at the story Rich told so well over afternoon beers of the time, as a family when kids were little, they hired a 4 seat pedallo bike; the type with a parasol roof. Unbeknown to them, said roof held a huge puddle which promptly deposited itself “bucket challenge” style over Rich & Sarah when emergency braking. Kids in hysterics, but that wasn’t the end of it - soaking and trying to pedal uphill the kids gave up and walked by them; it was quicker. All 4 ended up pushing. Kids then insisted on sitting up front and steering on the downhill return; this didn’t go to plan. Whizzing down the hill, the steering wheel came off and a little out of control and gathering speed as they overtook a bemused police car; kids screaming waving the steering wheel in the air and Rich &

Sarah bedraggled in the back. All ended well luckily.

We’re also all still laughing with Tracey for her greeting the check out girl at Mercadona with a cheery “Adios”. Similarly my attempt to order ice creams resulted in the confused owner of the cafe thanking me saying “Merci” On the subject of shopping, absentmindedly I wheeled the full trolley out the doors of the supermarket which instigates the anti theft brake lock, my momentum catapulting me into the trolley handles.

As time went on, we progressed from chatting across the road and no doubt annoying Creature Comforts next door, to gathering together by our vans. I perhaps overstepped in my sense of humour one evening when Rich talked about his Dads funeral and the singing of a Bee Gees song, quickly saying was it “Staying Alive”? Funny side seen thankfully.

Weekend evenings in the town were busy and main street shut to traffic with the seating for the bars and restaurants spilling onto the road. We were bizarrely treated to a bagpiper seranading happy birthday to a nearby group. Rich said he thought the balloons around a table on a similar night out previously were rudely saying “up your arse” instead of the Spanish “feliz cumpleaños”

Daisy was very happy to jump into their van as soon as she had the chance and lie comfortably on the settee; she was clearly confused why we had to stop her doing the same to the new occupants. They turned out to be wet weekends, too posh for the own good. Bloke carries his lap dog over to Daisy to say hello, woman just stands grinning insanely. More on them later..

Sadly, we said our goodbyes to Rich and Sarah on Tuesday as they left early on the Wednesday to head further south. We shall definitely miss their easy company as we all became firm friends over a short period of time. We will be meeting up again on our return and it was lovely to get a note from them updating on progress.

As we sat alone on the Wednesday night over a glass of wine we could hear shouting from Brits on the next row; this escalated into a fight with shouts “Come and have a go then, if you think you’re hard enough” We didn’t see who it was but probably an aging skinhead, dickhead thought he was still in the 1970’s.

More on our remaining neighbours; there’s some odd folk in the world, chap in the next pitch to us commented when I said a restaurant on a bike ride don’t take dogs, it’s their loss. Chap responded “no it’s your loss for having a dog”. Miserable bugger. They came into the site bar yesterday, we’d taken the last seat outside and they had to sit inside; it’s their loss. Interestingly Lord and

Lady of the manor turn out to be ok and they’ve got a lot more chatty and friendly as time goes by. They’ve been lovely to chat to, remarkably fit, bright and well travelled. We even got a shout hello from them (to Daisy) as we cycled past Pinguins.

A day of contrasts Wednesday, bit overcast and cooler so we cycled out to Torrenosta via Oropesa del Mar, la Torre de Sal and then through the interesting Parque Natural del Prat de Cabanes-Torreblanca. Marina d’Or en route is massively overbuilt, with blocks of high rise, commercial centres and a theme park. We rode along gobsmacked, not our thing at all. La Torre de Sal was lovely though, very old and quaint; we understand the locals are protesting rightly against a plan to redevelop it. Similarly, the national park was a joy, great paths and proper little farming hamlets and rows of olive, lemon and lime trees. We cycled albeit flat a decent 35 miles and got an

insight to a different side to Spain. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

The couple who replaced Rich and Sarah turned out to be proper dicks; never trust anyone who pushes their dog round in a shopping trolley. They were a pair of wet farts, I was greeted by her squeaky high pitched voice demanding to know where to take her dogs for a shit and he just invited himself onto our pitch. Us and our neighbours were bemused when they stood looking at the trees asking concerned what the “animals” were in them making a noise apparently distressing her dogs; we just said they’re cicada, crickets. Everyone knows this right? I’m trying to think who they remind me of, if they’re not Little Britain/League of Gentlemen material they should be. Another brummie (irritatingly for MrsH) neighbour is easier; a spit of Olive from On the Buses.

Toward the end of the week the 9 day festival Santo Tomás de Villanueva was set up, with bull ring, bull running, concert stage, bars plus an unbelievably loud funfair on the waste ground next to us. Tracey suggested, at about 1:30 am on the Saturday morning the microphone used by the lady “DJ” will find itself inserted up her probably not cute “coño”. We did go into the town to see what was happening, bizarre night as I got refused to be served a beer for either looking underage, resembling a drugs baron, or being English. I tried Google Translate but she just looked at me like I was a feckless moron and said sorry. No idea what that was all about. The night finished ok though with free home made shots from Juan in our regular bar (as we asked what people were drinking), this may have helped with sleeping a little (ignoring the many “una caña et una copa de Rioja!) but we could still hear the live music from the town at about 3:30 am ish. No need for an alarm clock though, considerately the town arranged for a firecracker display before 9:00 next morning.

We end the week this Saturday with heavy rain (hopefully dulling the noise of the fair) & missing our friends Rich & Sarah. Onto Week 6, with 5 to go still!