I'm starting the entry for today at 10:45am as the day is pretty well set - gym, brekkers, pool, shopping (optional for men), pool, dinner, Cirque de Soleil. Don't worry dear reader there's plenty to discuss.

The film last night was Mad Max Fury Road - fury! I was furious more like. It was flippin' awful. The storyline is - 'A woman rebels against a tyrannical ruler in postapocalyptic Australia in search for her home-land with the help of female prisoners, a psychotic worshipper, and a drifter named Max.' What it should have said was this film has no script, has five beautiful women for no obvious reason including one who has a big plastic tummy to denote she's pregnant and the film has ridiculous CGI. One comment was that some of the action was almost balletic. If that's the case then I wonder what sort of ballet Isabel's been doing for the last ten years! In short - bullocks (sorry mum!). Harry (who's he?) says it got six oscars - shows what I know!! Actually one was for hairstyling which given that half the cast were bald tells you all you need to know. Harry - you should watch Hairspray - sounds like your thing!!

Whilst sitting around the pool (watching the film), which even I have to admit was pretty cool, I couldn't help but notice that any man less than 50 had no hair on his chest. A fact confirmed around the pool now. This fashion seems to have passed me by unless of course men no longer have chest hair as part of our evolution. Anyway I'm considering shaving my chest. Two things stop me - Jo would have the fright of her life and secondly, where would it stop - legs next, buttocks (mum, still reading?). Thinking about it, Japanese men never have chest hair - looking around confirms that generalisation. Remember they are always ahead of the game (electronics, housing bubble, ageing population). They don't have tattoos either.....just saying.

To my surprise, today I found myself driving the ladies to two shopping malls. 'Only an hour in the first one' I was told. I went because I wanted to buy a new pair of Brooks trainers as their price in dollars is the same as sterling price. I also need a pair which is a point that my wife seems to overlook when spotting a 'bargain'! The first mall didn't have them which meant me also having to go the second one. Both were very busy which was a surprise given reports that the internet was killing US outlets. Anyway what is true the world over is that men love the benches outside the shops. Whilst waiting for the girls I met some very nice men today - Brad, Larry, Dave and Don. The last guy said he was running the country but was taking a break. He said something about failing health (political satire!). I met Brad on three different benches around the mall. We got on really well and we're visiting his family in San Francisco next week. Having found the trainers in the second mall I left the girls to it. Only stopping to buy a juice and a cookie and paying exactly the right price for it. No tips and plenty of coins. It doesn't get much better than that.

Top tip - Jo has taken over bill paying so waiters around the country are rubbing their hands in glee! Don't tell her but I've lowered the credit limit on the Credit card to protect myself. Second top tip is ladies when you buy a new garment and take off the plastic stringy bit and sales label, please throw them away. Those things are bloody everywhere. I swear that the pain in my foot has been caused by a plastic bit burrowing in to my skin. I bet its non biodegradable and so its there for ever. I'm going to have to wear protective footwear.