Riiiiising, Faaaaaling

The day we went to the temple, we gorged ourselves on food. Scared that we'd be ravenously hungry, we went to an all you can eat buffet breakfast at 9am and then to our new favourite restaurant 'Rompo'' to eat again at 11:30. It wasn't a conscious decision to abide by the temple's rule of not eating after 12pm, we just had to check in by 2pm and wanted to stuff as much food in as we could. Throwing my vegan preferences to the smelly curb, we ordered plates of satay chicken and fried chicken to lard up and maximise protein, hoping that we could get

through the night.
We set off, pleasantly surprised that the songteaw agreed to take us for a reasonable price and settled in for the hour journey up the windy road. Walking up the 300+ steps to the temple, we were very glad the guesthouse had kindly agreed to mind our big bags for us. Armed with our daypack filled with our two sets of white clothes that we had to wear, a towel, some toiletries and a few books, we were off. The International Buddhist Centre was located to the side of the main temple, down another hundred or so steps. When we checked in, the man asked us our name, asked us to write it on a piece of paper with our nationality and then gave us two keys. He walked outside and pointed to 4 buildings. "The first one is one, you are two, and he is four. Come back at at 2:30pm for a meditation demonstration". We walked away surprised with his simplistic matter of fact tone, and went to settle in. We knew we were in separate blocks but as we walked down to our rooms, we kept seeing 'No Talking' signs and started to realise we were required to be silent. We also saw the most miserable looking woman I've ever seen, sitting on the step drinking tea. Since we couldn't talk to her, I've named her 'Beautiful miserable tea girl'. She was not the best of advocates for anyone first arriving thus feeling a bit unsettled, we went our own ways and agreed to meet at 2pm once we had found our rooms and changed to our white clothes.
Meeting up at 2pm, we found a brochure which spelt out a few things for us. The rules were:

Abstain from killing living beings (that means Mosquitos too!)
2. Abstain from stealing (not into that stuff anyway)
3. Abstain from sexual or romantic activity (easy, separate rooms)
4. Abstain from wrong speech (easy! Not talking!)
5. Abstain from intoxicating drugs or alcohol (tea and coffee also...)
6. Abstain from solid food after 12pm (juice and milk are fine as is ice cream! Yay!)
7. Abstain from diversion and beautification (that's easy, no mirrors and all white baggy clothes)
8. Abstain from luxurious seats and beds (they have not provided any options for luxury)

Guidelines for meditators:

Not allowed to mix the practice with other meditation techniques or yoga, tai chi, aerobics (lucky I didn't bring my hoop)
Meditators are not allowed to smoke cigarettes (who hoo! An easy win for me!)
Meditators should be polite and respectful to their teacher, the monks, novices, nuns and lay people staying at the temple. (Surely that's obvious)
Meditators are not to speak with each other except when necessary
Reading, writing, listening to music, email, and telephone or else not allowed. (FAR OUT!!!!!!!)

Daily Routine for Meditators:

05:00 am: Wake up time
05:30am: Dharma Talk
07:00am: Breakfast
11:00am: Lunch
14:00 pm: Meditation report to teacher
18:00pm: Chanting
21:00pm: Bedtime

In between all of those times, one practices their individual meditation in their loose, modest, non transparent white clothes either in their room, main hall, chapel or meditation room. All courses are by donation and the minimum stay is 4 days, the maximum is 21 days

Tony and I looked at each other in disbelief and I was totally stunned that in booking this, I had somehow missed this small print. No taking was okay, but no reading, writing and music???? What the hell were we going to do all day? MEDITATE!
We agreed to give it a shot and see how the first day went and if we hated it we'd leave. Tony had managed to pick up a cold in Chiang Mai so if it turned into anything more serious we'd also leave. So, we began.
Our meditation demonstration consisted of a lay person showing us how to do walking and sitting meditation. For walking, your hands are either clasped in front of you or behind you and you begin with your right foot. To begin with, you said in your

mind, 'lifting' as you picked up your foot, and then 'putting' as you placed it on the ground. Then the left, 'lifting' then 'putting' then repeating over and over until you come to the end of your walking (about 2 metres) then you turn around and come back but say in your mind 'turning, turning, turning' until you have finished turning. If you are distracted by something, then you repeat it in your mind three times before going back to lifting and putting. Eg, if you hear a dog bark 'hearing, hearing, hearing' or if a bug lands on you 'feeling, feeling, feeling'.
Sitting was on cushions, as many as needed to sit without moving in a cross legged position. Our hands were palms up, laying on our knees and our attention was on our tummy. We were to notice our breathing and how our tummy moved up and down. 'Rising' was said in our mind as we breathed in and 'falling' was said as we breathed out. Again, for any distraction one repeated it three times and went back to rising and falling. Eg, leg fallen asleep due to sitting, 'pain, Pain, PAIN!'
We began with 15 minutes walking followed immediately by 15 minutes sitting which was increased every second day by 5 mins so by the last day, we were walking for 25 minutes then sitting for 25 minutes making it 50 minutes straight of meditation in one hit. We also got more detailed in our walking and sitting to be 'right heel, toe, rising, moving, placing. Left heel etc... and 'Rising, falling, right hip, left hip, right sitting bone, left sitting bone' which would be extended to over 12 places in our body had we have stayed longer.
My dear friends Tam and Kate had given me a travel diary and I chose to break the guideline of no writing to document in it what the monk was telling us to do for meditation as well as his funny dharma stories and my own feelings and observations of the process. Using the last hour before I went to sleep each day, I justified my writing as meditation in itself and that I wasn't writing for the sake of it, I was hoping to use it as a tool to remind myself of the steps and also for future learning. My diary was 3/4 full in 7 days as I was writing over 10 pages a day of the teachings, my meditation progress and my thoughts and feelings through the day. I am sure that I will always treasure this writing.
We began our stay with an opening ceremony conducted by our teacher the monk and then we had the rest of the afternoon free to meditate until 6pm chanting. Tony and I waved at each other and headed off in silence.
I remember going back to my room and unpacking the few belongings that I had. I tried to make my room cosy, sorting out areas to put my meditation cushions and my bag finding one coat hanger and an 'S' hook where I could hang my clothes and set up my washing line. I got out my sleep sheet as the sheets were stained and used one of the blankets to wrap around my pillow to reduce an asthma attack from the extensive mould. Then, I washed my face and washed my feet. I made myself a cup of 'tea' by pouring hot water over some wood shaving things and went out to the end of the accommodation where there was a makeshift slab of wood put down for a seat. Whilst picking out the wood shavings, I listened to the birds sing and the crickets screech. Then, I wondered what to do.
I thought I could kill a bit of time by wandering around the grounds, so went off to investigate. I found the top room full of walking carpets (thin red lengths of carpet around 3 metres long) in all different directions as well as three large Buddhas. Below was the room we had had our opening ceremony in, full of small Buddhas as well as another medium one and across a small road was a chapel with another large Buddha with walls that had open sections allowing the wind and birdsong in. Tick, done. Exploration complete.
Now what? Another cup of tea and then chanting, then I'll treat myself to a cold shower at 8pm before going to bed. Easy.

The next day, day two, was not much fun. I had decided to slog it out and stay for the whole 7 days, determined to push through any kind of pain or

frustration as a token gesture to the pain and suffering Tony endured. I was going to dedicate this experience to him. I wanted to complete it not only for me, but for him too. My brain had other ideas though. I hadn't slept very well due to the brick of a mattress we had and waking up at 5am. I'd actually woken much earlier due to the lovely cockerel crowing away around 4am and being scared I might sleep through my alarm. Dharma talk was interesting and breakfast was fine-a bowl of 100% vegetarian soup. I sneaked a look at Tony to try and gauge his response to this- he gave nothing away. Immediately after breakfast I was so buggered, I went back to sleep for a few hours. Waking up with an hour to spare before lunch, I quickly did my washing and headed off as the lunch bell rang. Lunch was a buffet style of 3 different dishes with rice and we could choose how much we wanted of each. Loading up my plate and going back for seconds, I filled my tummy to the brim before I noticed there were KitKats for sale.....I don't even like chocolate but God, they looked bloody delicious. I bought one for me and one for Tone and we ate together silently with a big smile. Yum.
I meditated in the chapel for a while, had a cup of tea and reported to the monk. He was happy to hear that my thoughts and emotions were only interrupting my meditation 40% of my time and told me to keep going.
Back in my room, I was suddenly struck with the realisation that I had HOURS to go before chanting at 6pm. What was I going to do? I had had a shower, my washing was done, I'd had lots of tea, couldn't eat anymore....all I could do was meditate. This must be what it's like to be in prison going from the toilet to my room, food to my room, shower to my room, drinking tea to my room. People could go absolutely bonkers. I was hit with a wave of intense emotion and found myself sobbing in my room. There was no way I could meditate anywhere else, one look at someone and I would start crying again. I was left with no other option but to meditate here, dripping tears onto the tiles as I walked relentlessly up and down my room. There was no real reason for my sadness, it just came but in the midst of it all, I found myself thinking of how sick Tony had been and how he'd almost died. My small amount of suffering now

didn't even equate to a minute of his. He had endured daily pain and constant isolation stuck in bed with his thoughts and emotions every single day for 6 months. I remembered how the monk had spoken about how people came here from all over the world and I realised I was in an incredibly privileged position to dedicate a week of my life to learning about myself and practicing meditation.
Suddenly my thoughts and emotions disappeared, and I was left with utter clarity that I was going to meditate my heart out each and every day and embrace this once in a lifetime opportunity we both had. So I began. Every day became a new opportunity to learn and meditate. The monk's seemingly simple parables and stories were profound and I was either in the chapel, in nature or in my room meditating during any free time.

It was at the chapel that I met 'Geng' my beloved temple dog. She most likely has no name, as dogs at the temple belong to no one. They get a tiny amount of food from the monks if they have any left over, and live in packs. They are flea ridden, mangey, malnourished and sick yet my little friend would come and sit with me every time I was outside. I called her 'Geng' (which means 'clever' in Thai) as she was constantly being harassed by flies and mosquitoes (she was a bit stinky too ) and thus had learnt how to jump and catch flies in her mouth. She was quite adept and her constant snapping meant that I also had a reprieve from them. The meditations I had whilst in the company

of Geng were serene, peaceful, full of colours and patterns and when she was there, I would repeat two sessions in a row, completing 80 minutes of solid meditation.
(I've realised that I get much more out of my meditation when I've already done meditation. My mind has been quietened enough by the first 40 minutes to have peace). The funny thing about Geng was that I am not at all a dog person. In fact, I normally can't stand the stinky mutts but Geng displayed such care that I had an overwhelming desire to take her home with me. Knowing that probably wouldn't be possible, I began daydreaming in my 'relaxing' time about having a dog as a pet and calling it 'Geng' in her honour. I pondered how much flea treatment I would need to buy for the whole pack of them. Writing about her now, still brings tears to my eyes as I genuinely loved being with her, incontinence and all.

I think I was meditating on lovingkindness a lot as I began noticing all of the little creatures in nature. There were amazing cicadas, a frog in the toilet cubicle, a moth and a Gecko that stayed in my room for two nights, chipmunks in the trees and interesting lizards. One of the coolest things that happened whilst meditating was when I was out in nature at the seat and my timer went off, I opened my eyes to discover a spider had made a web on my nose! The next day a bug made a home on my eye but I rehomed him as it tried to climb under my eyelid....

I felt loved, content, joyful and calm in the temple and also felt incredibly happy that Tony was nearby. His cheeky smiles and silly walks always brought a smile to my face and we'd figured out sign language to say 'I love you' without talking (A quick wiggle of our index finger). Our sneaky non verbal communication led me to watch our fellow meditators for the subtle ways that they communicated too and I was surprised to notice how much one does in fact communicate with their body. What was powerful to me was how respect and thoughtfulness was displayed. One person 'Chapel Man' was of particular note as he would wait for me to finish in the chapel before he would enter the loud door whilst another girl 'Selfish girl'

would race the other women for the first hottest shower and one day cut me off in my walking meditation by choosing to walk in front of me! I also liked 'Smiling AWOL man' (named thus as he never showed up to anything but food) who would always crack a huge smile when he saw Tony and I eating our daily icrecream.

The highlight however was our monk teacher. His convoluted stories would begin with 'Good Morning Everyone' and when he was in the thick of telling us a story about greed, attachment or desire, he'd declare "Oh, but not you, the outside world!" as if we were somehow immune to these daily occurrences of human experience! He had incredible knowledge on psychology, science, western culture and

Buddhism, woven in with anecdotes, thai culture and stories of his childhood.
My favourite dharma chats were the following:
* The story of a man who loved holidaying at a mountain but returned to work feeling stressed. His answer was to bring the mountain to work-find ways in the work day to relax and have fun.
* Our mind is like a movie theatre. We can either be an actor, moving from one place to another doing what others tell us to or we can be the director. To be the director, we must be mindful.
* It takes a lot of energy to think and worry. MRIs have shown that it takes much less to meditate.
* His childhood story of worrying he'd left the gas on due to a neighbours fire. He was able to reduce his anxiety each day by consciously telling himself he had turned off the gas, and mindfully turning off the gas.
* The story of the man who declared he would forget everything. Monk asked if he would forget if he had loaned money. Again, mindfulness.
* Too much work means problems with relationships and the stress will affect our liver, stomach and heart. We have a shower to clean our outer body but we need to meditate to clean our inner body and internal organs to clean them of stress.
* If someone hurts someone else, we don't immediately go looking for the perpetrator, we take care of the wounds first. We need not worry about what others have done to us that is wrong, we need to take time to look after ourselves first.
* Practice lovingkindness always to yourself first, and then to the rest of the living beings.
* By forgiving others, you take care of the giant baby that is inside of you.
* A Japanese man won the Nobel Peace prize by studying the molecular structure of water. When water was in negative environments, it's crystal structure was ugly. When it was in loving environments, it looked liked flowers. We are made up of 90% water so if we listen to wrong speech, our molecular structure will also be affected and these make up our cells and organs.
* Our senses can and do influence our thoughts and our emotions. We need to be a large mountain, unmoved by the strong emotions we can have, not a small boat, bobbing up and down being affected by every sense our body feels.
* You wouldn't drink poison from a snake willingly yet we repeat bad things in our minds over and over again which poisons our bodies.
* We all have a little inner room inside of us that needs cleaning. If we clean it daily just a bit, (through meditation) then this is much better than ignoring it for five years and then having to do a massive clean.
* In order to feel truly happy, we have to feel happy amongst the material world, happiness within ones self and happiness amongst our ego.

It has taken me over a week to write this section of my travel diary as I have been pondering what to externalise and what to internalise. My experience was wonderful and I only wish that I could have stayed longer to know myself more deeply and to learn more about the meditation techniques and to listen to the extremely simple yet life changingly profound dharma lessons.

As Tony and I left the temple, we held hands, smiled and laughed loudly. This had been the best thing that either of us had done and we couldn't wait to share it with each other.