Big Red

"Don't be sad that it ended ,
be happy that it happened"

-The question is though... did it really happen ?

My feet glide along the pavement , my heart rate low, the warm air is a welcome change , breathing seems easier . The birds song is music to my ears. Distracted ,my eyes are constantly looking for them in the trees . The suns warmth touches my skin , the smell of Spring is vivid , the colours of the daffodils are intense . The freshly cut grass at Hagley park is beyond inviting. I can feel myself healing , like each breath and each step I am becoming human again .All at once , there is a sensory overload , the river is clear and trickling, the local ducks dip in and out of the water . A border-collie bounces up to me as if to say " your different". A very small human giggles and skips past me . "hello" its says .

People pass by , unaware of where I have been , smiling ,chatting and in their own worlds .They take no notice of me , to my surprise , maybe I am not an alien?. Their energy's are different . It is continuous . It is a stunning Saturday morning here in Christchurch . The garden city couldn't have put on more of a show, it is as if it knew I was in need . In need of this day. It is better than I had imagined .

I have dreamt about this day . 223 days I have been away from what you would call a "normal" existence . It has been 40 hours since I stepped off the US C-17 onto New Zealand soil. 0200 we landed yesterday with 43 souls on board .Some having been away for over 12 months , some only days (Antarctica is not for everyone). A mix of Scotts Base personal and McMurdo staff are only too excited for the arrival and the ending of something quite rare and incredible . I am home .

Part 1 the ending -
A whirlwind to catch the new fire fighters up to speed see's my days out . Closing the Fire house door behind me one evening , a strange feeling comes over me . It is all too final , walking back to my dorm ..."I just handed my uniform back in and hung up the boots" I think to myself .Job is done .My winter-over service as a fire fighter here for the Americans is complete . A last Sunday brunch was had , swapping contact details with remaining friends .A lot of "lasts" were tough and bittersweet because the thought of heading home was all to exciting. The closer you are to the end of something seems to get harder. I become impatient when really one should try to appreciate the preset moment as much as you can .

With a perfect weather window here in MCM (McMurdo) I am confident the aircraft will have no issue arriving here on the first flight to kick start "Mainbody" ( Summer season flights) on the Wednesday 5th October . Delayed , fuel issue . "Of course" .I unpack my linin and make my bed back up . Room inspection had been complete and an now is an empty looking state of affairs . Two hefty bags already checked into cargo bound for the flight. I am now living out of a small bag of essentials waiting for updates . Constantly checking Christchurch weather forecast and to my dismay a rare October snow blast is hitting the city and the country. 24 hour delay updated . That's it , frustrated I decide to let it be . We are all too aware of the logistics in getting aircrafts here but even then it is hard not to be a little disappointed. Everything has to come together on the day for it to be possible . Runway conditions , Phoenix weather , temperatures , winds , snow , visibility , aircraft mechanics , staffing and more . Thursday morning . A further delay . ACH001 is now due to arrive on ICE 1855 . Still holding on to some optimism , what will be will be I tell myself and continue to go about my day . Now snowing heavily in town ,I am suspicious and convince myself It will be pushed back again .

415pm Hug Line Thursday 6th
Nothing prepares you for the holding pen in building 140 . The final good bye before you board "Ivan the Terra bus" . The hanger is fill up of familiar faces . My McMurdo family . Red eyes , tears and heart felt smiles are the last thing you will see as you depart town . It is most definitely easier to be the one leaving than the one left behind . It was all to fast . Disbelief that it is over , not really understanding in that moment ,that it would be the last time I see a lot of these people and yet I know I will see some of them again some day . The embraces are too short . Limited time has us squeezing onto the bus I had arrived in , now taking me away .

*The iconic "Ivan the Terra-Bus" has been transporting USAP participants from the airfields on the Ross Ice Shelf to McMurdo Station for decades. Ivan is a huge passenger transport, 46' long, over 12' wide and 14' tall with tires that are almost 6' (feet) in diameter.

The crawling speed of "Ivan" forced me to reflect , take the experience of 'leaving' in. Although struggling to make out the flag line across the ice shelf has been still questioning the possibility of actually flying out. It is white out ! . How ever as we eventually approach the airfield , the distant mountain range peaks out beneath the low lying cloud and the clear skies on the horizon creates hope . The small terminal is packed with bodies . Most waiting in anticipation for the wings to take us home , some waiting to work the inbound flight . The shelter & heating protecting us all from the extremes outside . The green Haglans arrive , ahhh the kiwis are here. More good byes to be had .

Part 2 -From there to here
1855 , the hand held radios crack , the announcing of ACH001 is 100 miles out . The crowd erupts . The flight some what 45 minutes behind schedule . We are to learn they have had a strong SW head wind the whole way which in turn makes for a hell of a tail wind on our return . There is nothing quite like seeing this beast of an aircraft appear out of the still lingering cloud . It lands with a trail of snow and ice from touch down.
It takes another hour of unloading and loading cargo before we are told to make our way over . The small trek to our plane was special and one I wont forget . Feeling very unique at the chance to be doing this , I snap my last photo to remember it . An iconic US air force plane , the white surroundings and the big red jacket . I now have proof Helz. This wasn't all a dream .

The interior is some thing out of a mad max movie . Rugged . Wiring, piping , the whole thing is exposed . Comfort was not the priority for the mode of transport . The tail of the plane still down and wide open to the White continent . Grabbing a side seat up against the shell of the plane . I settle in . Not many passengers departing makes it spacious . Taking off was surprisingly smooth . The relief was felt and the excitement on my fellow passengers faces was un mistakable . We are airborne .
The 5 hour flight was quick , some slept , I'm not sure how . I was wired! .I cant believe it I'm actually coming home!. My dear friend Bruce pops a bottle of champagne and shares it around the departees . Before you know it there is an landing announcement .The arrival was as smooth as the take off .

Stepping off the plane , will be something etched into my memory . We talk about what we notice first . The damp , maybe the recent rain ?. Earth, life , soil? . No time to take it all in and we bus to customs . Its dark and quiet but the noise from us lot cant be muted . The transition to the Antarctic Centre was fast paced. Handing my ECW gear and boomerang bag back was bittersweet . The first item I received was that Big Red jacket, a proud moment seeing the name Helen Waterworth on it and here I was handing it back in. That was the last piece of the journey , the adventure has come to an end .

0400 , in bed at the Crown Plaza . with check out looming , tiredness finds me . The days since has me hiding away in a wee apartment city center to acclimatize . A kitchen I can cook in , a bath I have been with out . A groceries store visit was over whelming and invigorating all at once . Its now that I have been here a few days , my thoughts return to the ICE , my friends and the way of life . The realization of not being there comes in waves of emotion. I look forward to appreciating the little things again , and hope to not take them for granted in the future . My secret arrival home has a few surprises in store for the family and my kiwi friends , in true style I will be making a few entrances as I have always done with my long duration travels from home. My poor family , I do keep you on edge and I cant wait to see that surprised look on your faces once again .

Did it happen ?
Yes , it did .

Antarctica you have introduced me to a world of wonder , magic, history ,science, heroism, self growth, courage of the human determination and friendships like no other. The American culture and the kiwi relationships have been more than memorable . I have no words for the amount of gratitude I have for all those that have made this possible or have been die hard supporters or silent ones .

Antarctica you will become a distant memory but you will be etched into my soul forever .