Monsieur Academic Concern and the Tres Bon Moment

Our apartment is cute but really hot and stuffy. We all gather around a ridiculously small fan to have a debrief about the day. First priority is breakfast.

Breakfast was at Boe & Mi which is rated one of the top boulangeries in Paris. It didn’t disappoint and the price wasn’t too bad either. The most perfect croissants were 1.8 euros! I’m not sure how Mike is going to present his Coles microwaved croissants to the kids when we get home now.

We then navigated the metro with the assistance of some armed police who spoke English. They warned us as we parted ways to be very on guard for pick pockets. Good for the older boys to hear this as they just roll their eyes if we mention things like that.

Our first stop was Sacre Cueure. Mike gave us all a mini history lesson as we approached. Which went something like “errr I think it’s a church, a Roman Catholic one.” Sacre Cuerrr is very high in the city and we quickly learned that steps were going to be a huge part of our day. As in climbing steps and stepping steps! In fact by the end of this day I’m writing about, we will have walked 20700 steps. My watch tells me that we also climbed 110 flights of stairs. Bring forth the desserts!!

SC was beautiful as always and the bells were chiming as we arrived. Cue goosebumps for Mummy. We warned the kids about the scammers and opportunists. Cue Isla crapping herself over this. It’s the truth and the kids need to be warned, but it’s also scary for an 8 year old. She’s struggling today. It’s hot, we’re weirdly jet lagged (kids first experience of what a hangover might feel like) and she’s not done a scrap of exercise in 11 weeks. I keep reminding her to try to drop her arm down as she walks. It is pretty much permanently bent on a 90 degree angle at the moment. This is Mummy OT, the best she’ll get over the next month.

I’d mapped out some pretty streets for us to walk down and the kids sniffed out a souvenir shop. Their pocket money was burning a hole in Dad’s locked backpack! I really wanted to visit the Montmartre artist square and buy something for home. Before I knew it Kayden was inquiring with an artist about a self portrait. Well he asked and encouraged me to.

Side note: the first 48 hours of family travel is like term 1 kindy. It’s hectic, emotional and tiring. Your aim is to set routines and establish relationships whilst making the children and their carers feel like they belong. Bam! That’s us right now in Paris. And Mike and I are also setting boundaries. It feels like we are listing a hundred rules a day and explaining ourselves. We’ll get there. Let’s hope it doesn’t take the whole term!

Anyway, where was I? Kayden and the artist. We sat Kayden down for a portrait, it was going to take 20 minutes. It blew us away how the artist worked. We walked the square while Kayden did that. And I worked on my

campaign to get Isla to do one. She was grouchy and miserable but also loves art. I convinced/guilted her to sit with a lovely artist. I regret that and now have mummy guilt. Let’s just say we paid 50 euro for a portrait of jet lagged misery. He almost captured her but probably wasn’t the right day to push her for that. We learn!

Meanwhile Kayden had finished his portrait and he and Max decided they wanted a caricature done. Ummmm nope. Not gonna be displayed in my house! Those things are gross and make fun of features of your body. They assured me they’d display them in their bedrooms, they were paying for them, it only took 5 minutes and is apparently hilarious. Fair enough.

Well, Monsieur Academic Concern, the kid who got an email titled Academic Concern sent home a few weeks ago explaining that he had failed a French test at school marched up to his chosen artist and spoke in French. There it was, my baby speaking in another language confidently. Goosebumps again.

As the artist finished and passed Kayden his art, Kayden handed over his 20 euros and said “tres bon, merci beaucoup”. Teenagers making eye contact, sitting while people draw them in public!! Priceless! I might even let him display this in the house, that memory is in my mind forever! Mike and I now tease and refer to him as Monsieur 67% (he proudly redeemed himself in the following French test after we threatened to take his screen time away). “It was actually 65% and I’m still quitting French next year” he replied. Typical teenager.

Onwards!!! We made our way to the Arc de Triomphe. Kayden wanted to run across the 3 lanes of traffic rather than find the tunnel. “It would be more fun!” Ummm no. Max told us all about the ADT and the eternal flame. Thank you YouTube! And I filled in the blanks with good old google.

Next stop, the Eiffel Tower. We were hot and tired and needed to eat. I spent months researching the best places to eat in Paris and I have a list of food I’d

like us to try. Did I ever imagine sitting on bitumen directly under the Eiffel Tower? No, but we did and I was the happiest gal in Paris. We ate one of my bucket list meals which is jambon beurre. What is this you ask? Google tells us: Unlike ham and cheese, a sandwich that's ubiquitous across the globe, jambon beurre (ham butter) is strictly French. Though it's a seemingly sparse construction — simply baguette, cooked ham and butter. French butter! Oh my! Max said Paris has the best food and Kayden said it was the best sandwich of his life. I agreed! Even Mike who hates butter loved it. Isla had the first smile on her face in a while too!

You can book tickets up the tower via the lift 60 days in advance. I tried to book it 58 days out and they were sold out. Our only option was walking up. No problem, Mike and I did it before. Ha….I died. Died! I wondered if I had Covid? Why are my legs hurting so much? Do I have asthma? What’s that wheeze coming out of my throat? Why didn’t we pack a bloody ventolin? Where are the boys? What if they need ventolin!! Isla and I had been left for dust. Kayden and Max ran up. They make me sick with their fitness. They ran up and I died crawling up. Mike walked up somewhere in between and joked to Isla and I that we needed to pull ourselves together! The views and breeze were beautiful but the best views of the tower and all her glory are actually not up there but around her!

After the ET we raced home for showers, naps and beer hunting for Mike. We were going out to dinner at a restaurant that I rang and booked months ago. It was meant to be Paris’ best French onion soup and also the top hot chocolate which Max has a real appreciation for. Tick!

Except the weather gods said no and a storm rolled in. We were trapped in our apartment. We had no way of getting 5 of us there without getting wet. An Uber there for 4 of us (family of 5 troubles!) was 50 euro one way. So that’s 100 euro one way for us all. I couldn’t justify it. Nobody else cared. I had to accept defeat. Mike cuddled me and I cried a bit. Yep. I was tired and sad. I didn’t fly us around the world to be trapped in an apartment eating 2 minute noodles. We ended up ordering Deliveroo! Still not the best but we trialled some quiches and lemon tart (tick and tick for my food wish list) and everyone was in bed asleep by 8.30 Paris time 2.30am Perth time for those of us stuck somewhere between time zones.

It’s 6.20am now and I’ve been awake with the kids since 5am. Mike loves to sleep. I’ll have to wake him now to start the day. The kids are complaining of hunger and I’ve got more delicious food dreams to tick off!!! Oh and of course more of this beautiful city!