1st October 14

We shower at the hotel and collect our bags and return to Revolution cafe for food and wifi. After booking a cheap hostel nearby, we spend the remainder of the day relaxing in the cafe before making our way to the hostel, which we struggle to locate in a backstreet.

2nd October 14

In the morning I chat to a guy while eating breakfast in a cafe. Kyle is from England and he's lived in Kathmandu for the past nine 9 months. He met his current girlfriend on the Internet, who was already living in Kathmandu. He worked with disabled children at home and he has continued this line of work in Nepal. He gives talks at different schools to educate people on the topic of autism. Nepalese living in remote villagers know little about the subject which normally results in ostracising those suffering from the disability, rather than providing them with the help they need. He has heard appalling stories of people kept outside like animals. He volunteers at a disabled school and he tells me that the hardest thing he has had to accept is how they deal with a mentally disabled child suffering from a fit. He tells me they simply lock the child in a room until the child calms down - something that would never be allowed to happen in England, but frustratingly he hasn't been able to change this custom.

Hannah is leaving for Thailand for a week before meeting Val, so I have decided to trek in another region in Nepal. I spend a couple of hours visiting different agencies to discover options and prices. I'd preferably like to join a group, but this does not appear to be possible as most groups are trekking for a longer period than the time I have remaining.

I walk to the Garden of Dreams. It's peaceful here away from the chaotic streets, but there are a lot of people, both tourists and couples lying in the sunshine on the immaculate lawns and walking amongst the walled gardens. The gardens are pretty with colonial buildings in pristine condition surrounding. On my way back to the hostel I am caught in a downpour and I hide inside the nearest cafe drinking a coke.

This evening we have dinner with Daniel (a German guy from the hostel) and his friend Juergen. They met in the army but left recently after a number of monetary cuts were made. Daniel was provided with money to use to study so he has just spent the last 5 months learning Spanish in Spain and he is now embarking on a travelling adventure around Asia.

Juergen is his guide for the coming base camp trip. He has been trekking in Nepal every year for the past 10 years. His wife usually joins him for some of his time here. He is a photographer, who works for a number of big brands. His English is not as fluent as Daniel's but he has one particularly interesting story which he would like to share and asks Daniel to translate. Daniel listens nodding his head to Juergen's monologue, but when it comes to translate he has already forgotten the beginning. It's a complicated story so although Daniel’s English is good, he is struggling as there is a lot of information to recall and then relay. He's a pretty funny character anyway, so the whole situation soon becomes comedic as he manically tries to keep up and translate. As the story becomes more convoluted and entangled he doesn't notice that Juergen has switched to speaking English and repeats the same words to us in his confusion. The three of us are in stitches now, but Juergen is quite a serious character and he would like to finish his story.

This is the story as I understood it: Juergen has befriended Sadhus in the time he has spent in Nepal and they have allowed him to photograph them. In this particular instance, a Sadhu approached him, beckoning Juergen to follow him. They entered the Saddhus' sleeping quarters, which was either a small cave or possibly some kind of sewage works or underground passageways in Kathmandu. On the floor was a large concrete slab with a rope attached to it, which he asked Juergen to try to lift. Juergen tells us that it was impossibly heavy and he was unable to shift its weight. The Saddhu then removed all his clothing, much to Juergen's confusion, and in a squatting position, attached the rope to his penis. After which he preceded to stand and lift the entire concrete block off the floor. And Juergen has been allowed to capture this insane moment on film!

We all order the same dish on Juergen's recommendation - chili paneer and garlic naan. It's delicious.

3rd October 14

I meet with the guy that runs our hostel for a quick chat this morning to ask about possible treks. He is taking a Spanish couple to Everest Base Camp tomorrow which will take 12 days. It would mean I reach India late but I'm excited by the prospect of this challenge, so when he offers to find out whether a flight is available, I choose to find out. Having previously been told that flights to Lukla are all fully booked, I assume it's very unlikely.

I leave the hostel to find a pharmacy for gauze dressing as my ulcer has not fully mended. Due to the festival, most shops have already closed, but a man offers to walk me to a pharmacy just outside Thamel. Miraculously they stock the antibiotic Flucloxacillin, which I am about to run out of prior to finishing the course. I say an awkward goodbye to the helpful guy who now asks me to go for a coffee with him.

There is a seat available on tomorrow's flight and I have an hour to decide. I make a snap decision and provide my details to book the flight. In the afternoon, I go with my guide to the government office to collect the permit to trek in that region. On the way back, we bump into Juergen. He interrogates my guide for his knowledge of the trek, asking him to name every stopping point on the way. Juergen says 12 days is not enough. He asks my guide what his constituency plan is in the event that I become ill. It becomes clear very quickly that he is not a licensed guide and is lacking in experience.

Daniel is at the guesthouse when I return, writing his blog. I fill him in on my latest encounter with Juergen where he quizzed my guide on the details of my trek until he stumbled and became flustered and confused, and my subsequent feelings of panic. Daniel laughs and tells me not to worry as Juergen is incredibly organised and will plan for every eventuality. He reads out the list of items Juergen told him to bring, which increases my anxiety as I realise how utterly unprepared I am. One of the items on the list is sunglasses, so I put on my broken, one-armed H&M fashion pair and we all dissolve into giggles. Tears are pouring in streams down my face - a mixture of laughter mingled with genuine panic.

Han helps me to buy some essentials at one of the many outdoor stores in Thamel. I buy a breathable t-shirt and trousers for trekking, and request a free flask and hat when the shopkeeper refuses to the lower the price any further.

This evening we treat ourselves to pizza at the Italian restaurant. They have a wood-fire oven and the quality of the pizza here is wonderful, not just by Asian standards. Juergen is sitting outside when we arrive, so he joins us although he has already eaten. Pessimistic comments and questions directed at me about the upcoming trip, makes me wish I hadn't committed to it. To make matters worse, when I return to the hostel at 10.30 at night, my guide breaks the news that the Italian couple have pulled out as they had hugely misunderstood the price. So it will just be myself and the guide going on a 12 day trip. I'm panicking, unsure of the best course of action now. We have a discussion with him at about 12 at night, which does nothing to allay my qualms. I feel extremely tired which does not assist me with a decision making process.

4th October 14

I don't sleep well during the night desperately trying to come to a conclusion, not helped when I realise my insurance has run out. I message my sister at 5 in the morning to ask for advice and she kindly sorts out my insurance, telling me I should go for it. I feel exhausted and by now the idea of getting on a flight at 7.30 and either going with this guy or trying to sort something out when I get there feels like a mammoth task. At 7, I speak to the guide to find out what the Spanish couple will do. They plan to change their flight. I ask if cancelling is an option and find out it will be 30% for the outgoing and 10% for the return. Everything feels too disorganised and as I now have lost faith in the guide I make the disappointing decision to cancel the flight. It has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but I accept I am no longer going and spend the day looking for tours going to Langtang. There are no options except for solo trekking at every agency I try, so I decide to go with Juergen's recommendation and to go through a trustworthy agency, even though this a more expensive option.

Hannah has noticed on Facebook that her cousin is flying to Kathmandu, arriving this evening. We meet him and his friends for a drink. They're flying to Lukla tomorrow to start the hike to base camp. I chat to one of his friends, who shares his recent experiences with me. He's a geologist and has worked in mines in both Australia and Mozambique. When he turned up in Australia, he was expected to manage a group of older, rowdy men, whose conversations revolved around abuse, and whose vocabulary was mainly made up of swear words. They didn't respect 'pommes' (the slang word for the English), and even less a youngster fresh out of university. But he quickly managed to toughen up and get involved in the 'banter' in order to survive and make friends. His time spent in Mozambique sounds much harder. There was little food and even less variety and when he eventually returned home, he was almost skeletal. He was able to make friends with the miners, but he was the only white person living in the town and he had to deal with racism. He relays a story where he saw a guy pick up a piece of fruit from the floor outside the toilet and present if to him as a gift, becoming offended when he wouldn't eat it.

5th October 14

We take the Lonely Planet with us and follow its guided tour around part of the city. It leads us through backstreets, down little alleyways into hidden courtyards housing temples and stupas. It points out a barely noticeable ancient statue, a shrine to the god of teeth, covered in coins nailed onto the wood which old men are making offerings to, and a window carved out of wood but different from any others we have seen. We take a wrong turning and mistakenly stumble into an open courtyard where men and one woman are playing cards on the floor and drinking beer, celebrating the festival. We're not sure that gambling and alcohol are particularly appropriate for a Hindu festival, but it's nice to see them enjoying themselves. One man, wearing a wife beater, rushes off to get his camera to take a picture of us in front of the small temple. They try to persuade us to join them and offer us beer. We take a small sip out of courtesy before heading off.

We eat dinner with two Americans, Chris and Daniel, who are staying in our guesthouse. They're web designers so they are able to work and travel at the same time. It's a pretty cool position to be in, but it sounds like they've had to turn down some amazing job opportunities, as that would have meant staying in America. They’re both highly intelligent and make for interesting company. Chris asks me if I've ever pretended to have a fake profession to someone I have just met and is shocked when I say I have not. He says it's something I should try. He believes that faking it and being apt at coming up with creative lies is a useful skill to have.

Daniel and Juergen are leaving early the following morning to fly to Lukla. We meet them in a bar to say goodbye. I wish I had enough time that I could join their trip.